Translated from french.
We no longer hear the question: “Who wears the trousers?” In a world of equality, whether it be intended or just a tendency, desired more than real, in a given situation it is suddenly no longer politically correct, to ask who is in control the man or the woman. Yet!
Putting aside the major theories, salespeople have to decode the behavior of their
customers in order to be more efficient, they have no scruples in “probing the
minds and hearts”, to use a biblical expression. They have to rapidly understand
how the roles are distributed and who has the power of decision in the act of
purchase. For some consumer goods, it is easy to define, because the goods have
been gendered, or at least it is what the marketers wish us to believe ... For
them, a car for example, is masculine. Children's clothes are feminine.
On closer inspection, the process is much more complex, especially with regards
to the role of women within the couple or family. Even if she is not considered
directly involved in the purchase of a new car by the car manufacturers, within
the household she has her veto. How many purchase orders signed by Sir on a
Friday are put to question on the Saturday morning, because Madam "really does
not like the look" ...
So what about housing? The home is shared in all respects: for their family
life and common usage, with joint ownership in most cases, financed by the
joint household income. Ideally, the decision is shared ... Not so simple.
Housing is a paradigm of motherhood, the cocoon; it is the place to which we
retreat, the place of affection, kindness and protection: lexically speaking
and contrary to appearances, housing is feminine. So, for the choice of home to
purchase or rent, for any work needing to be done, or for the interior decoration,
the woman wears the trousers, believe me.
The French singer Bénabar, wrote a song called "Four walls and a
roof" which tells the story of the life of a home:
"A vacant plot, without fences, a couple wanders imagining their future
home…
(...)
He dreams of digging a wine cellar, She would prefer a second bathroom ...
It will be a second bathroom. "
It says it all.
Being analytical, and without falling into stereotypes, this is actually normal.
The act of buying or renting a home is extremely complex, and the female character
is better suited the multiplicity and complexity of this type of task. Women
have more patience for hunting out and finding homes which is a real obstacle
course. Women, are often more stubborn, and will keep going without getting
discouraged.
Once done, then in comes the man who will often play his role in the financial
section, beginning with the negotiation of the price and dealing with the loan,
thus reestablishing the balance of power. And yet, it is often the womans’
finesse who will know when it is finally the right time to give in to the
seller or the banker in order to sign.
Housing is after all, and always will be, an object of desire and one of the major components for our pleasure in life.